Ohio Ohio

Ohio is great so far, I'm meeting family memebers I've never met before and it's fun. I love the weather here it been great. I had a interview today and if i don't get that job another next Tuesday....i hope i get this job though..it would be a great step for me. I know with my dads help I will get on the right track, he is going to keep track of my money so I can save for my own place and pay off some bills...probably something I needed for a while, someone to take control and tell me what I can spend my money on. I haven't really showed any emotion towards my dad yet....I'm not there yet but he has seen me cry. I miss my son sooo much I can't wait to get him up here and let him see all this. I miss Gary but there isn't much I can do about that...he will come in his own time if he chooses. I think I might end up making this a final move for me but we will see when winter gets here. Anywho I'm out for now sorry for the short blog!

Hmm....

Well I haven't been using my blog as I should so here's the update...I'm working things up with my hubby, I moved to Ohio to get a fresh start at life. This is gonna be interesting I just met my sisters for the first time and two seem really sweet the other one I haven't had much time with because she was hosting a bday party for her little girl. We sold the house so that is behind us now WOOHOO. I don't know what this all has in store for me but hopefully it's all good. My roomie ended up being a complete B*tch...she is doing highschool things and yet shes older then me...I hate people like that, people who have to all be in the spotlight, its all about them. Well she is a conartist and a lair and those kind of people I don't need in my life so i kicked her to the curb. To tell you how evil this person is...she faked a rape. How do I know this you may ask, she said she filed a police report (I called she didn't) and the fact the rapist was a dear friend of mine I confronted him...he said they did do it but she got mad when he wanted nothing further with her in that way...ohh by the way she is dating someoen, suppose to be getting married (if that has any truth to it). That kind of person is not worth my time and hopefully her boyfriend sees this all soon enough before he makes a mistake cause she will robb him blind. I know I may sound bitter or watever but this guy is a really decent guy shes with and if you ask me he deserves MUCH better then a conartist. Anywho I have nothing more to say I'm done ranting for now.

Life as I know it

First things first, I'm not a big blogger unless I have things on my mind, I'm a passion writter I guess. I've been going through alot these past few months. It feels like I'm going 90 mph and my brakes are out in my car. My world seems to upside down. I'm losing what I know as the perfect life. I am married but I'm not. My husband loves me but he doesn't. That is how I feel. hubby says he wants to work on things yet he turns into a a** with in days of me opening up my feelings to him. Should I just keep them bottle now? I have no clue. I'm at a lost for once in my life and I don't know how to handle it. I'm normally the upbeat person who doesn't take crap from anyone but yet I will let one guy walk all over me. Pretty messed up huh? In my life when things seem to be going great things go bad, and I'm not talking a little I'm talking about the bad that makes it to where you can't breath, that there is the HUDGE weight on your chest. I can say I've hit the bottom, I'm there now....nothing makes sense in my life expect for my son. He's my reason for getting up out of bed in the morning and well I have a friend who will not let be down on myself. She has been my rock kinda through this ordeal I'm going through. Yeah I may be lazy at times and not want to do anything and I know she gets fustrated but I know shes there for me. I'm 25 and feel like I'm finaly growing up in a sense. I'm tried of waiting for change that I know I'm not going to see from someone....I owe it to myself to live my life for my son and me. If something comes along and hubby hasn't change I'll take the chance, whats the reason for waiting for change knowing it's never going to come? My hubby and I are legally together but mentally I think I have to finally close that chapter in my life. Yeah it will be hard but I don't know what else to do. I know I might change my mind but I'm not going to wait for my fairy tale to be written, I'm going to help write it.